I want you to know that this isn't an "I love you" post. It's more of a "You move me in ways I couldn't imagine" post. I don't know if you'll ever find this, or if I'll ever tell you I wrote something about you. It's an open letter to you describing how I feel about you now and in this moment. Feelings change, and I realize that, but I need to get this out; it weighs so heavily on my mind.
Dear Sir,
You were crying today. I wanted to give you a real hug, not that half hug thing we did. But methinks you think crying is a weakness. I let you cry, i understand you needed to be left alone. I also understand why you're not texting me tonight even though you said you would. You'll be looking at photos and videos, recalling memories of the weekend. Spending time with him, making him laugh; holding him when he cried. I just hope that she isn't a part of those memories.
We're nothing right now. Friends who really like each other. I have no right to ask anything of you, but I ask you to continue laughing with me over our little flirtations. I'm curious as to what it would be like if we went out. Not even a date; just hanging out as friends. I don't know if that's even possible. You're trying to get me over my space issue, and you would probably try a million times harder if we weren't clocked in.
Not that I mind, i'm getting used to it. And it's almost nice; you realize I have a space issue and you like me enough to try to get me over it so you can touch me. I don't flinch as often as I used to and I almost backed up into your arms the other day. Not on purpose mind you, but I saw the look on your face out of the corner of my eye. Curiosity and a little bit of happiness. Plus that weird look you always give me. I'm not sure how to describe it quite yet, but I can see it in my mind now as I type.
I want you to know, that I thoroughly enjoy being around you. Even last night when I was pissed off beyond all reason. I probably would have been mad and stressed for the rest of the night but you came over and gave me a little hug. You smell so good and it's comforting to feel how strong you are.
I also want you to know that I do think you're attractive. One of the most attractive guys I've come across actually. Rugged, strong, tattoos; you're a reformed bad boy and it's interesting. I don't care for the way you almost want to get into fights, but I digress.
The way we joke and laugh, I've never had a rapport like this with someone. I call you names, and you know i'm joking. I can tell you I hate you and you use the fact that I like you against me as proof that I don't.
I'm excited to see where this goes. Excited and scared. Scared that this might be the biggest relationship of my life. Scared that I'm putting more faith than warranted in something that could just end up being nothing. I don't know.
All I know, is I really like you. And I know you like me too, and that's enough for me.
Sincerely,
Me
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