Rolling Eyes

You're back from your weekend with them. It seemed to take a lot longer than 4 days but I'm glad you're back. You came and visited me at work the night you got back; or I assume that's what it was since I highly doubt you missed the CBR that much while you were gone. He walked to you when you got there and he's started saying "Dada." Your eyes get so bright when you talk of him. Your smile, so wide.

We worked together last night. You kept telling me that you missed me and pulling me into that hidden area away from the cameras to just hold me and give me little kisses. And then after work we sat out by my car just talking and telling stories. Punctuating the ends of our sentences with more kisses.

I was telling you about my insecurity with my eye; that I never know when it's moving around and I don't know how it looks to people or what people think about it. You told me you don't ever really notice it anymore and you never thought it was weird or made me less attractive. You even told me a story about laying in bed with me and I yawned. You watched my eye move around and it made you laugh a little bit but you thought it was cute.

You have no idea how happy that made me. I honestly couldn't care less about what people think about me or how I look, but for some reason my eye really bothers me. And you just accept that the movement happens. I didn't even tell you about being blind until semi-recently so it's not like you even knew the reason behind it. You just accepted it, and that really means a lot.

I think you're definitely leaning more into relationship territory now. You try to sneak kisses and I always see you watching me at work. You called me Sweetie before you left and Honey when you got back. And you sent me a kissy face when we were texting tonight. I feel like the names and the emoticon shouldn't be as big a deal as I'm making them out to be, but this is new territory. We don't have pet names for each other; we don't send the kissy face at all.

I want this to happen more than anything. I wonder if you're waiting until one of us leaves Subway though so we don't have to hide anymore. You have that Janitor job and I might be doing an internship. Which I really hope I get. I dunno.

Like my friend likes to say: "If only I had a crystal ball."