Shields and Barbells

Right now, I have 8 piercings. 6 in my ears, 1 nose ring, and a navel ring. My most recent piercing is almost all healed up and I'm starting to crave another one. I plan on having about 9 in my ears. And maybe a Tragus. Haven't decided yet on that. 

But I'm not craving another helix. 

No, for some reason, I'm craving nipple rings. 

I don't even like nipple rings! I like the barbells. So, now i'm considering getting barbells soon. 

TMI but this is kinda blowing my mind right now. It's almost 3 in the morning and i'm doing research on nipple rings.

ooh-de-lally

M&M's

"You have a hard outer shell but on the inside you're all rainbows and butterflies. Soft and gooey, just admit it!"

I'll admit it now. But I gotta tell you, I don't know how to be that person. It could just be that i'm like that at work. I don't really know, since we've only hung out that one time. But I was drunk so it could have been that. I don't know!

In all reality, it bothers me. I know I can be a nice person. Just, it's hard to open up. Especially since I really want to open up to you. It scares me how much I trust you already.

Anyways, you're leaving for a week in two days to see him. She'll be there too unfortunately, but it's not like that's ever going to change. Or that I have any reason to be mad at you if anything happens between you two since you're not mine. I just hope nothing happens.

And that you finally ask me out when you get back!

Hurrah for the Red White and Blue

My little sister enlisted yesterday. The little blonde girl I would get into fights with all the time has enlisted with the army. Last week, she wanted to sign up as a sniper. I don't believe in God, but I thank whomever that she signed up as a Lab Tech instead.

She gets sworn in on Monday somewhere between 1 and 4. Right after her physical.

She ships out for Basic June 21, 2014.

I'm scared for that little 17 year old girl. I'm scared for the 6 year old I still remember her as.

It's too late though. Can't take back what you've already promised.

I hope she comes back in one piece. My little sister does not need to be buried before her time.

At the same time, I have high hopes for her. She could be great at this. She'll grow up and be able to stand up to both of our parents and speak for herself. I'm just scared of what she'll see.

Musings

You're changing the way how i feel about certain things. I was out shopping the other day, and I saw cowboy boots. They weren't actual cowboy boots; they were more fashion forward. But I thought they were adorable and I wanted to buy them. I'm still thinking about it. It is Christmas soon after all, and I could get a gift for myself.

That blue shirt you told me looked like a shirt a cowgirl would wear? I bought it when I first started liking you because I thought the same thing. I also bought 4 country albums the same week. I preset 2 country stations on my cars radio a month ago.

We kissed last night. More than that, we made out for hours upon hours. It was so nice to be held again; to feel someones lips against mine. We did more than kissing. And you actually wanted to cuddle afterwards. It was close to heaven. I'm sure if I hadn't had so much to drink that I was physically numb it would have felt a million times better.

Finals

So I just got back the results for the two classes I took this semester. I passed. As in a C. BUT I'M STILL SO GODDAMN EXCITED! I know most people would be upset over having a C as a final grade, but I got back in the college saddle and didn't fail this time around. It's good for the soul.

The other thing I'm excited about is the grade on my Ethics/ Business Law final. I have been struggling in that class all semester because of the terminology and how much stuff we covered and I thought I was getting it in class and then would take an exam and would get a low score. My first two exams I got a D on. But I got into class today, sat down, and started taking the test. Ready to totally bomb the test because I hadn't really studied. But I had no question on what was the right answer on many of the question. 75 questions and I was hardcore stuck on 3-4 of them. The grade on my final exam was a B. 120/150.

I will definitely be going back next semester. I'm glad i'm finally back on track and not just feeling like i'm back on track.

My soul couldn't feel any better.

You Should Know

I want you to know that this isn't an "I love you" post. It's more of a "You move me in ways I couldn't imagine" post. I don't know if you'll ever find this, or if I'll ever tell you I wrote something about you. It's an open letter to you describing how I feel about you now and in this moment. Feelings change, and I realize that, but I need to get this out; it weighs so heavily on my mind.

Dear Sir,

You were crying today. I wanted to give you a real hug, not that half hug thing we did. But methinks you think crying is a weakness. I let you cry, i understand you needed to be left alone. I also understand why you're not texting me tonight even though you said you would. You'll be looking at photos and videos, recalling memories of the weekend. Spending time with him, making him laugh; holding him when he cried. I just hope that she isn't a part of those memories.

We're nothing right now. Friends who really like each other. I have no right to ask anything of you, but I ask you to continue laughing with me over our little flirtations. I'm curious as to what it would be like if we went out. Not even a date; just hanging out as friends. I don't know if that's even possible. You're trying to get me over my space issue, and you would probably try a million times harder if we weren't clocked in.

Not that I mind, i'm getting used to it. And it's almost nice; you realize I have a space issue and you like me enough to try to get me over it so you can touch me. I don't flinch as often as I used to and I almost backed up into your arms the other day. Not on purpose mind you, but I saw the look on your face out of the corner of my eye. Curiosity and a little bit of happiness. Plus that weird look you always give me. I'm not sure how to describe it quite yet, but I can see it in my mind now as I type.

I want you to know, that I thoroughly enjoy being around you. Even last night when I was pissed off beyond all reason. I probably would have been mad and stressed for the rest of the night but you came over and gave me a little hug. You smell so good and it's comforting to feel how strong you are.

I also want you to know that I do think you're attractive. One of the most attractive guys I've come across actually. Rugged, strong, tattoos; you're a reformed bad boy and it's interesting. I don't care for the way you almost want to get into fights, but I digress.

The way we joke and laugh, I've never had a rapport like this with someone. I call you names, and you know i'm joking. I can tell you I hate you and you use the fact that I like you against me as proof that I don't.

I'm excited to see where this goes. Excited and scared. Scared that this might be the biggest relationship of my life. Scared that I'm putting more faith than warranted in something that could just end up being nothing. I don't know.

All I know, is I really like you. And I know you like me too, and that's enough for me.

Sincerely,

Me

Swirling Thoughts

There's a new guy in my life. He's not actually all that new, I started working with him about 2 months ago. He's different from anyone I've ever dated before. A bona-fide country boy, wanna be redneck who notices little things that even I don't see. He's forward, charismatic, and confident. He's sarcastic and witty and i don't have to explain my humor to him. There have been other guys in my life that have some of those qualities, but it just doesn't seem the same.

He told me last week that he liked me, so I know this isn't a one sided thing. We're taking things slow, getting to know each other as more than just work buddies before going out. It's strange being back in this scene. I thought it would be quite awhile before I even thought about anything more than casually dating someone. There's just this feeling I can't shake.

I don't know how to explain it and I don't want to put anything into words that may or may not just be me putting my foot in my mouth. Times like these, I wish I had a diary that was a bit more private.

A New Perspective

I've been collecting things from before my parents divorce. Wedding, anniversary, and life pictures. The wedding invitations and marriage certificate. It's my childhood. I looked through their wedding album all the time as a little girl and they got married because of me.

I have our last picture as a family in my room. The lady at Whataburger called us the "Yellow Family" cause we were all matchy matchy for our photo session. It was freshman year. I also have a family picture with my mom and step dad from my senior year. I decided to compare them today.

I always thought my mom looked fairly happy in the yellow picture. But as soon as I put them side by side, you could automatically tell; She's happier with Frank than she ever was with my dad.

I knew she had been pretending her happiness with Dad for awhile. She told me and my sister almost a year before she finally left that her and Dad were having trouble and that they were probably going to get a divorce. I never realized how unhappy she was though.

My dad gave me the pictures from their cruises together last week. I was looking at them today and realized that my mom was faking her smile in every single one. Every one.

She left my Junior year. The first cruise was probably my freshman year. That's 2+ years of suffering that I had been completely oblivious to. I broke down.

Cried like a little baby.

I love my mother to death, and I'm so glad she's finally found the happiness that she deserves.

ILY F+A Mommy Dearest <3

A moment of weakness

It's almost midnight, and i'm still waiting for your reply, because I'd rather talk to you, than do anything else. But as the day comes to an end, I realize that i'm wasting my time, because you haven't replied for hours, and it shows in your eyes, that you'd rather talk to someone, who's not me.

-Pinterest quote that fits tonight

Chicken Soup for the Soul

I've only been in school for a week. Not even really that long since I only have 2 classes 2 days out of the week. But I feel amazing. Going back and feeling like my life is finally back on track, is like food for my soul and I feel infinitely happy.

Before people would ask me what I was doing with my life or how school was going and I would have to say "Oh I dropped out of school; I work at Subway now." It would make me feel like such a failure and disappointment. But now when people ask me what I'm doing with my life I can tell them that I'm going to college and I work at Subway. That feeling has me on a high right now.

That and I have all A's right now ;)

There are a couple other things that are making me happy right now, but i'm not ready to talk about them yet just in case I jinx it and they go sour.

I can truly say I'm happy right now and my soul feels nourished. It's an amazing feeling.

SOLID!

So I started a new exercise regimen 4 days ago and I've decided to kind of make this more of an exercise diary type thing. To keep track of my lost weight and let you guys know how i'm doing. I'm doing Pilates. There's a 30 minute full body dvd i've been watching/ following and then a bonus 10 minute ab workout. I've been doing the ab workout in the morning before work and the 30 minute full body at night. I'm also borrowing my aunts shape ups and going for a walk with my besties and her dog. 

The cool thing about these 3 exercises, is that i'm already seeing/ feeling results. Pilates really isn't all that hard either which makes me happy. I'm only gonna do a weekly weigh in, because I'm not really concerned with how much weight i'm losing, but on getting more in shape. As long as i'm happy with the way I look, I don't care about my weight. 

So I started out at 172.8 pounds. If I have a weight goal, It's going to be about 130-140 pounds, so it's not like i'm trying to lose all that much. But I'll check back in on Monday and let ya'll know how i'm doing!

Oh and go see Despicable Me 2 so you can get the title reference.

SOLID!

Fork in the Road

The other day made me realize that the smallest decisions can be a fork in the road. I had plans to see my mother, but they fell through for various reasons. Instead, I spent all day with my best friend. That one little change of plan was my fork in the road. 

I don't care for many people. I can't exactly explain why, but too many people just rub me the wrong way. I try to be polite and friendly in my professional life because I think it a necessary part of the job, but when it comes to my personal life, I am definitely much more picky about who I hang out with. This usually means I don't have a lot of friends. But it also means that the friends that I do have, I trust and love to the end of the Earth.

Because of my dislike of people, I haven't made a friend for my personal life in quite awhile. The last one was about a year and a half ago. But I made a new friend the other night. And I find it exciting. She's just as weird as me and my best friend and she fits perfectly in our duo. In fact, she made me laugh so hard, I puked.

The three of us have plans to go down the river next weekend and I know it's going to be awesome. We've even invited her to live with us if my best friend decides to stay in Arizona. I can definitely see her being in my life for quite awhile.

Cheers to new relationships! 

Questions and Knives

I don't know what I did to you. I thought our friendship was doing alright. Not the best in the world, but I've seen worse. You talk about discovering things the last couple of days that ruins the relationship that we used to have. I'm not sure what you could have discovered to think that I was horrible to you. The reasoning behind that is that there was nothing to discover. I was rash and angry and sent out a text that I should have waited on, but i feel like you've stabbed me in the back.

I'm not seeing anybody right now because I'm still trying to get over us. Bottom line, you were the best boyfriend I've ever had. Until you flipped this on me. But I'm not ready to date or get serious with someone yet. It's still raw as much as I hide it.

I teased you about the shows you watched, but you teased me about mine too. It was never meant to be something serious though. I know some of the shows I watch are not the greatest, but just because yours got awards doesn't mean yours is either. We both agreed that "The Descendants" was horrible, but that got plenty of awards. It's all a matter of taste.

I never cheated and I regret any and all bad things I did to you. You deserve better, but so do I. I'm not ignoring you either, my life has gotten busier in the last month and it's hard to keep track of everything.

I tried at our relationship, and as much as you think I didn't, I truly did. I apologized for not doing things right and making everything face to face. You deserved better than that and I was a coward. You said everything was fine, and then attack me like this. That's just dredging up a problem that I thought was solved. A definite curveball.

 I thought we had a nice conversation yesterday, better than our usual "heys". But this popped up on my newsfeed. And I honestly want us to be friends, because we were so great at it before. I miss having you in my life; you were a source of happiness and you were the light in my life. But apparently that light was just a reflection of a shiny knife. I understand you're angry with me. But we can't even attempt to be friends if you're going to be friendly one day and write a hate post about me the next.

Rant and rave about me all you want, the more you do it, the farther I'll distance myself from you. I don't need another ex telling me that i'm a whore and that i cheated on him when I didn't. I didn't think more nightmares and another year of regret were going to be in the cards for us, but this recent post is forcing that hand.

I loved our time spent together, and on my often occurring lonely days, my thoughts turn to you. I still wear that ring and our pictures together are still on my wall. But maybe it's time for all that stuff to go into a box. If I'm your worst relationship then why should I hold onto the stuff that meant something to us? Because I care. Not past tense. I wasn't lying when I said "I love you." You don't fool around with that shit. I thought you knew me better than that, but I guess I was just lying to myself.

I don't know what else to tell you. It feels like you hate me and I never wanted that. I have an overwhelming sinking feeling that this is probably the end of the line for us though. If so, I wish you all the happiness in the world. If not, I'll be waiting to hear from you.

I'm sorry for whatever you think I've done to wrong you.

TBH

Okay, so I feel super self centered posting this and I promise not to whine too much, but I know i'm basically whining and I'm so sorry. Here goes:

Why do guys feel the need to confess to me AFTER I've stopped liking them and talking to them that they had a huge crush on me?

No lie that's what this post is about.

Now this is all high school-ish era boys that I'm talking about. (I'm only 20, what other era is there?) But if you like me, and you think I'm cute, please let me know now! My ego won't be mad at you! Plus, the worse thing that could happen, is that we could just stay friends cause I don't feel the same way. I guess that's not the absolute worse, but you get my point! We ended up just staying friends anyways cause you didn't have the balls to speak your mind!

The one factor that I will always like in a guy? One that has confidence to tell me how he feels.

So please, if you like me now, tell me. Don't mention it two years later in a TBH post that I liked.

Over and out.

Family is Forever

Can I just say that I love my family? Nobody has done anything special and I didn't just come back from an awesome vacation with them, just being back in Arizona has made me realize how much I missed them and how badly I was underselling them.

I live with my aunt now. She was always an eccentric lady, but she was family so I never worried about it. But being in the same house as her these last two months has amazed me. She's usually happy-go-lucky, but there are still days when she comes home from work and she needs a big hug. I always have someone on hand to have girl talk with, and because she's been through so much, she doesn't judge me. We went to Applebees for dinner tonight, and she told me about her frustrations with her boyfriend. I've known her my whole life, but now I'm starting to get to know her. It's an amazing feeling.

My grandmother also lives fairly close by and I usually see her about once a week now. I help out around her house with cleaning and such and we bond. Another situation of I've known her my whole life, but now i'm starting actually know her. Every time we're together, she gives me a new piece of advice or something funny to pass onto my friends. There's a lot of attitude and sass packed into that little old lady, and I'm sad that it took me forever to see that my grandmother is this amazing.

My cousin is another person that was right in front of me my whole life. While we were closer then I was to my aunt and grandmother, our friendship didn't start blooming until I went to Iowa, when we started writing postcards to each other, not that that really lasted long. This last January though, when I decided to move back to Arizona, we started getting closer than before. I just went up to Flagstaff last weekend to celebrate her 20th birthday with her, and had an amazing time. I knew she was coming back for the summer the same week but you only have your 20th birthday once!

I've been getting along with my dad better. Hanging out over at his house or with his girlfriend and her daughter isn't as awkward as I imagined it would be. We have fun, and our relationship definitely isn't as strained as it used to be. I wish I could tell my sister that it gets better, but she won't believe me until she's older and goes through it herself. I remember what it was like to be a teenager.

And the whole thing that brought this on: My mother. After the divorce, I started saying the verse from "Love You Forever" to my mom. When I moved to Iowa, she bought me a copy and wrote a personal inscription inside the cover. It made me cry then, it makes me cry now.

All these people have been here my whole life (Except Auntie Lem since she's almost a year younger than me...) and I took them for granted. I hope to show them more appreciation as the days, months, and years go by.

over and out.

Inked Up

So I have this intense love for tattoos. I love seeing tattoos on other people, especially if they have cool designs. I really love if there's a special meaning attached to that tattoo, and I want to make sure that there's special meaning attached to every single one of my tattoos. So since I'm in a super tattoo-y mood right now, I'm gonna post pictures (If I have them) and explanations of the tattoos I have and want to get eventually. I'll do the ones I have first. This is going to be a longer post fyi!

My very first tattoo, is a bass cleft/ treble cleft heart. Just in case you can't tell, It's located on my right shoulder blade. I have played the piano and violin since I was a little girl, so they have been a big part of my life. Playing my favorite songs on the piano actually soothes me, so I thought it was appropriate that it was the bass and treble cleft. I also plan on playing the piano for my kids one day, and hope that they want to take it up too.

My second tattoo is a sailboat with my mom's signature and a little reminder that she loves me. This one is located on my left hip. I know that one line on the boat is a little wonky, but apparently the hip is really sensitive. Mine was no different and I ended up twitching a lot.

For one of my high school banquets senior year, parents had to submit a quote or an "I'm proud of you" paragraph thingy. In the paragraph thingy that she submitted, there was the Mark Twain quote "Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the things you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sail. Explore, Dream, Discover." The sailboat is a constant reminder from her to live my life to the fullest. The reminder and signature is there for whenever she eventually passes away. This is my little piece of her that is constantly with me.

This next tattoo is going to be for my little sister. It's probably going to go on one of my ankles. I really liked the quote idea that I did with my mom, so I scoured the internet and found a quote that i thought fit us very well. It goes like this: "Sisters are two different flowers that are grown in the same garden." I don't remember who said it and I'm too lazy to look it up now. I like this quote because it describes us perfectly. We are two completely different people, but we grew up in the same home, and went through some difficult times together.

 I actually combined three different photos in this one and I don't know how to use photoshop, so I shopped it in Paint. Pooka wants her flower (bottom one since she's the little sister) in purple and I haven't decided on my color yet. I also haven't decided if I'm going to put her signature with this too. I haven't decided on my combining factor for my family tattoos. I either want to do black with a pop of color or I'm doing an Earth, Wind, Fire thing and a tattoo that i'm probably getting for myself will make me Water. So if it's the pop of color, the stems will be black. If it's not, then they'll probably be green (Duh.)

This one is going to be for my dad and it will be located on my right hip. I also want flames around the bottom kind of framing the dragon, but I haven't found any designs that I like. There's no quote with this one, I couldn't find anything that really spoke to me. I chose a dragon because my dad's first tattoo was a dragon and I feel it kind of fits him in a way. Don't ask me how, but it does. My dads will definitely have his signature and reminder somewhere within it. The Dragon will be black, and the flames will be...flame colored?

First of all, this is not a picture of me. This is one is going to be a tattoo for me. Swimming as a little girl, one of my favorite games was pretending to be a mermaid. I remember swimming with my cousin in our grandmas community pool pretending to be princess mermaids. Simpler times. Swim Team was another thing that was a big part of my childhood. I actually joined my high school swim team and if I hadn't gotten into an accident the summer before my senior year, I would've gone to state. Water has always been more comfortable for me and being near a body of water calms me down and makes me happy. The colors are going to be the same and I'll probably put it in the same spot too. 

This next one is a little bit more complicated. So first of all, with the tiara, I don't want the flower-y stuff or any of the bling. I also don't want the ball things on top, I just want them to come to a point. I also just want the giraffe to be an outline instead of a silhouette. Giraffes are my favorite animal, but it would also be a reminder to stand tall. The crown would be a reminder that I'm the boss of my own life, I am my own ruler. I want the giraffe to be wearing the crown somehow, I'm not sure how yet though cause I don't want it very big. I also don't know where I want it yet or what color it should be. I've been thinking white ink and on my wrist, but not for sure.

Last One! I don't have a picture of the actual tattoo I want to get, but it's going to be for my best friend and it's acutally one that we're going to get together. This one is going to be another quote one. A combination of two quotes actually. The first one is "You see all my light/ You love all my dark" and the other quote is "You'll be the anchor that keeps my feet on the ground/ You'll be the wings that keep my heart in the clouds." We decided a couple of days ago, that the wings/ anchor one was a bit long, but we still wanted to incorporate it. So we're going to do the light/ dark quote (I don't remember if we decided who was light and who was dark, but I think i'm dark and she's light.) and then mine will have either the anchor or the wings, which is why I have both picked out just in case. I had a thought earlier that the quote would be on my side, right under my bra line and then the anchor/ wings would be on my wrist or I also want the anchor/ wings in front of the quote.

We picked these particular quotes because they define our relationship. I think she's the light because she doesn't see her own light as much as she should and I have to point it out in her times of need. I think I'm dark because I have a darker way of looking at things. And apparently i'm badass (So Flit says), which goes with darkness. I'm not sure who would be more fitting for the anchor/ wings. I love both designs though so I may just incorporate the one that I don't use into another tattoo may want in the future.

These will not be my only tattoos. I know I'll get more as I grow older. I know I'm going to get something to symbolize my children, but I want to get a tattoo for each of the children I have and maybe one for being a mother. But until I have kids and am a mother, I won't know what I want.

Thanks for dealing with my long post and my obsessive rambling about my tattoo ideas. Come back soon!

Meiko Loves Flit

I couldn't tell you the exact moment we were friends. Or when we decided we were besties. I remember knowing her as someone our mutual friends talked about from time to time, but not someone that I was ever going to be friends with.

I couldn't imagine living without her now or not knowing. I love her to no end and if I were to ever believe in soulmates, she would be mine. We get each other and balance each other out. She's a pushover and apparently i'm a BAMF (according to her...)

As long as I live, I will never have a friend like her. People may come close, but our relationship has evolved so much from 9th grade Biology. It's impossible to fill her shoes.

Flit has gone through so much since I moved to Iowa and back. And I wasn't there to help her. It's not something I can blame on myself, there may not have been anything that I could've done, but now that I'm back, I want to help in any way that I can. And I know I explained that to her tonight.

Seeing her hurt, hurts me. I hate her scars. I hate that she had to resort to that because she couldn't get rid of the feeling any other way. And I hate him for making her feel that way. How one human being could do that to another, I have no idea. Maybe it's because he's not really human inside; no compassion.

I'm going to be there for her now. Going to help whenever I can, and if I can't help enough and she still feels the need to, I'm not going to get in her way. That would just hurt her more. But i'll be there when she's done to help clean everything up.

She is my best friend, my sister, my soulmate.

Meiko loves Flit.

Lies of the Industry

I'm moving to Arizona in approximately 2 weeks. I have been job hunting for a bit now and have probably submitted around 50+ applications to various places. As I started my very first job, I was told that  Customer Service transferred very well. I've believed that statement up until I started my search for jobs in Arizona.

I stayed with the same company for 2 seasons. Got a promotion and a raise my second year there. I then moved to Iowa that fall and had to find a different place of employment. I didn't really look my first couple of months there, I had money to spare and I felt like I deserved a break. When I finally buckled down and started looking, I had only turned in a couple of applications (i.e. less than 5) before I got a call for an interview with a lady who was notorious for only doing the interview for show. You knew as soon as you got the interview, you got the job with her. I started a week later.

That's 1 season (the very first season was basically just sitting around looking busy) and a year and a half of customer service experience. Pretty good if you ask me. I got rehired with a promotion and a raise by one company and got 2 raises and was interviewed for a management position by the other company. While I did not get the management position, the Assistant Manager told me that she was extremely surprised they didn't go with me.

Fast forward to now, and I haven't gotten any calls, emails, or requests for interviews. It is also excruciatingly hard to find a job that isn't another gas station attendant. Been there, done that, don't care to go through it again. I've been applying to a lot of waitressing jobs lately. I'm hoping I get something out of that avenue since I don't have the right retail/ customer service experience for much of anything else.

It's just another lie of the industry.

Giraffes

So first of all, I think i'm going to give up on the 30 day challenge thing. I was doing well until I had to do the post of what was in my bag. I realized the number one thing that was in there was trash. Not exactly blog worthy. So instead, I'm going to post about things in life that bother me or that I love.

Like Giraffes.

Yes you read that right. I love Giraffes. I'm like a closet lover since they don't come up in day to day conversation. But I don't love all Giraffes. Like cartoon Giraffes (excluding the ones that actually look realistic) get no loving for me. They're not stupid or child-like so why depict them that way?


One of my favorite things about Giraffes is that they're always making faces. The one above me looks like it's smiling. These two look like they're grumpy/ judging you and posing for a silly pictures











I realize it's just a photo snapped at the perfect time, but it makes me smile that they do it enough to where there's quite a bit of photos of it when I Google search it. I can't think well enough to make that sentence any better. Too much Giraffe.

Giraffes have also always been a symbol for me to stand tall. Obvious reasons why. When I feel down, I usually just minimize whatever is open on my screen and look at my giraffe background (I am that obsessed. Don't judge me)

So I guess if I'm going to blog about them, I should give you a few fun facts. So here they are:

• Those horns on top of their heads are actually called Ossicones. And there's 3 of them. The 3rd one is actually more of a bump between their eyes, but it is still classified as an Ossicone. You can see it in the picture of the grumpy giraffe.
• There are 9 subspecies of Giraffe and they all have different coat patterns. Some of the color blocks are more block-y and others are more cut up. There's also a difference between the spaces of the blocks. Some are thinner, some are thicker.
• Giraffes fight. It's called necking. Kinda sounds like a sex move to me. They fight with their super long necks so Scientists came up with an apt name for it. Fights can last up to 30 minutes depending on how good they're matched and as far as I know, It's usually males fighting for dominance.
• After a dominance duel, it is common (i.e. Usually, but not always) for the males to caress and court each other. Which leads then leads to mounting and climax. So make-up sex. Kinky.
• This last fact is the most interesting to me: Females become sexually mature when they are 4 years old. Males at 5. However, males must wait until they are 7 years old to get the opportunity to mate. Wikipedia doesn't explain why, so don't ask me.

I needed another picture of a giraffe. Stop judging me.

One of the higher things on my bucket list, is to go to this place in Africa known as the Giraffe Manor. It's a lodge that is situated on private land that has giraffes among other animals. Now, it's not called Giraffe Manor just because they're walking around the property. These giraffes will actually come up to your bedroom windows and stick their heads in if it's open. They also will stick their heads in at meals to almost kind of beg for food. It's like a dream come true for me. I don't know how I'll ever be able to leave.

I will leave you with a couple more pictures of Giraffes. Just for maximum cuteness. Cause they're my favorite <3

Day 11: My Siblings

I'm kind of bored tonight (I don't have The Tudors running as background noise) so I'm going to write two blog posts tonight!

This is my little sister Pooka. And me photo-bombing in the background. My dad got her a pet snake for Christmas 2 years ago, so that is Pistachio she's holding. I jokingly told her that because he's green, he should be named Pistachio. She agreed. Pooka is weird. She's 16 years old and is currently a Junior. We've never been that close since there's a 4 year difference between us, but we're starting to be. She's one of the reasons I'm moving back to Arizona, but she doesn't know that so SH! She plays Trumpet and Piano and likes to be a weirdo. She wants to be some sort of Scientist when she graduates, but if she doesn't get to go out of state, she's going to join the Military. I'm proud of her for trying to be strong with my parents, but I know it's not easy for her, so i'm going to try to help her assert herself when I move back. My dad won't like it very much, but she needs to be able to stand up for herself.

These two are my step-siblings. They're Franks kids. Arielle and Skippy. Arielle is a year younger than me and Skippy is a year older than me. Arielle thinks i'm funny and laughs at almost every joke I put out there, which makes me feel super awesome, and the only thing I know about Skippy is that he likes collecting comic book "action figures" and he likes giving the D. Ladies. Wouldn't recommend it, personally. But he's my step-brother so what do I know?

Here's an old picture of all of us for your enjoyment. We're all so sexy and in High School. Yay. 

And I guess I can do a special shout out for Marie's daughters. My dad seems so happy with her, that they'll probably become my step-sisters at some point. I don't know much about any of them. I've only met them like once. But, I'll let you know if/ when the wedding comes along. I'll probably post some pictures of it too!

Day 10: What I Wore Today

You guys are lucky I actually had something to do today, otherwise you would be getting pictures of me in my pajamas. While I'm pretty much always super smexy, i'm not sure I want to put pictures of me in pajamas on the internet.

So before anybody asks, I am not pregnant. I know this for a fact. This shirt just has ruching in an unfortunate place. But a beige shirt and dark wash jeans. Dark wash is my absolute favorite, and I'm liking shirts with more of a classy feel to them lately. Don't get me wrong, I like to show off the girls every once and awhile, just not as much I used to. This would actually be one of my favorite shirts if not for that unfortunate ruching. It's still well liked though.

Today's makeup and hair combo. Again, if I didn't have something planned today, you would have messy hair and no makeup pictures. This is a great improvement. I have a pixie cut right now so there's not much I can do with my hair these days, so this is my go-to style. It goes along with the classy look imo. Makeup is just eyeliner and mascara. I don't spend 30 minutes putting 4 layers on my face just to look au naturale. I'll put on an extra layer if i'm breaking out, but that only happens one week out of the month so there's not much practice there.

It snows in Iowa, I went outside today. So I wore snow boots today. They've got fluffy faux fur that keeps my toesies warm (they get cold really easily) and straps that criss cross all over. The one thing I don't like about these boots is: The very top strap on the boot always falls when I'm walking, making the boots look kinda stupid. But I was driving a lot more than anything today, so they didn't do that too often.

And....that's it. I'm so in fashion huh?

Day 9: My Beliefs

Beliefs are a complicated thing. Many people pair beliefs with religion, but I wasn't brought up with a religion. My father was brought up Lutheran, but is atheist; My mother was brought up Mormon, but no longer believes in their values. I've never read the Bible or any other religious texts, although there were Bibles in my home growing up. I think one even has my name on it. The few times I went to church with parents, was to a Lutheran church, and when I stayed with my Aunt and cousins, they would take me to the Mormon church. I was basically left to my own devices to come up with what I want to believe, which is how I think it should be, personally.

I believe to have a true belief in anything, your beliefs have to change over time. No matter how small. We learn things as we grow older. Our views on the world change almost every day. So why shouldn't our beliefs change too? I don't believe in the same thing that I did when I was in High School, I don't expect to believe in the same thing 10 years from now. I do think that there should be basics that you believe in, and I have outlined my basics below.

• The number one thing I do believe in, and always have, is Reincarnation. There's no proof of it of course, but what real proof is there of Heaven? 
• I do believe in angels. I couldn't tell you how they come about, but in my mind, they're another form of life. I also believe in demons. Just as there are (at the very basic level) good and bad humans, there are good and bad angels. We just call the bad ones demons.
• I do not believe in any sort of God. I don't believe in creationism either, but do believe that if a God created us, He gave life to Earth at the very beginning and left us to flourish or wither on our own. I don't think he's around today to govern us or disapprove of our choices in life.
• I disagree with making kids go to church every single day. I think they should be taught about every religion out there, and make their own choice when the time comes along. Basically forcing a religion on them when they're too young to understand what belief really is, is wrong in my opinion. 
• Baptism does nothing in my opinion. Congratulations, you dunked the kid. I understand it may soothe parents when their child doesn't have long in this world, and I have no quarrel with that, so I won't say more on the subject.
• If there is a God, I don't think he would want us to waste our time every week to worship him. If he wants to be a God that demands attention, then he should be here demanding it. I've heard of no repercussion from not going to church every week, or whatever your religion does. 

There are caveats in my own beliefs though; I'm not quite sure how millions of people could be wrong. But the issue with that, is that there are millions of people in every single mainstream religion, and even the ones that aren't so mainstream. Are they all just followers then? Sheep?

I asked a Mormon friend when I was in Elementary school why God "put" spaghetti strap shirts on Earth if he didn't want us to wear them. She told me it was a test on whether or not we would sin by wearing the shirts. I asked her why he didn't "take" the shirts away again if we didn't pass, and he didn't like them. She had no answer for me. She did, however, get very mad at me because I was questioning her religion. If you truly believe something, don't get mad when people question it.

I do get angry when people tell me i'm wrong to believe what I believe and that I will go to hell because of it, but that's because I don't agree with telling people that what they believe is wrong. You have no proof that what you believe is right so stay out of my beliefs.

I think that's enough of the word Believe and it's variants. I don't mean to be pithy, and I'm sorry if I ever come across that way. 

over and out.

Day 8: A Moment

Can I write about an imaginary moment? No? Well then I dunno what I'm going to write about. There's so much that's happened in my life and to pick one moment is nearly impossible. Or two I guess since I'll have to write about another moment later on down the list. So then: my moment.

I'm not sure what day it was. Or even what month. I just know that it stands out in my mind, and probably will for the rest of my life. I had a migraine that day. I came home from school, laid down on the couch and took a nap. When I woke up, I noticed I had missed dinner so went to go find something for me to eat. That's when I heard it. The yelling coming from the office just a couple of paces away.

The doors were closed, and I knew better to go in and investigate. I couldn't understand what they were saying, but I had this great feeling of dread come over me. I was no longer hungry. I started to walk across the living room to go find my sister and comfort her. To hide in our rooms until the fight was over.

Another noise, one I hadn't ever heard before started up. I looked toward the office with fear and that's when it happened. The double doors of the office were flung across the room in a way I never thought would happen. My dad came storming out soon after swearing like I had never heard before and went out the front door, slamming it behind him.

Frozen in place by the scene that I had just witnessed, I realized why I felt the dread. It was finally happening. My mother had warned my sister and I the summer prior that things were not well with her and dad. That a divorce was just over the horizon. We all cried together and went on with our lives. I never expected it to explode this way.

My mother walked out a couple minutes later, visibly shaken and crying.  She came over, gave me a hug, said she was sorry, and then sent me back to my room. I went to my little sisters' room instead. She was sitting on the edge of her bed. Just staring at the ground. She was old enough to know what was happening, but not old enough to remember a lot of the fights that had happened when we were younger. Several still stand out in my mind.

It seems like no time had passed at all when we heard the front door slam shut again. More yelling. Our house echoed, so we could hear everything that was said this time around. The words slut, whore, douche bag  and cheating were prevalent. I had never heard my parents fight on this level. It was obvious where this fight was leading.

I was dumb, and thought I could do something. I left my sisters' room and walked up to where my parents were fighting. My dad was yelling in my moms face. His face was red and spit was flying everywhere. My mother stood as stoic as she could, tears no longer falling from her eyes. I don't remember what I said. But my dad just turned and yelled at me, and my mother just looked at me and shook her head. Crying, I headed back to my sisters room and tried to comfort her while she silently cried alongside me.

Silence. A good solid hour of it. Pooka and I had calmed down enough to do stuff in our own rooms. I cleaned. I think she was reading. We heard someone walking down the hall, and my dad appeared soon after. It was the first time i'd seen him cry. "Your mother left me" he told us. He couldn't look either one of us in the eye. "Can I have a hug please? I just really need a hug from my two little girls." The roles were reversed. We hugged him as he cried. I don't know how long we stood there; I don't remember anything else about that night. It's just a moment in time, stuck in my memory forever.

Day 7: My Best Friend

I'm just gonna tell you right now, I have two best friends. So this post is going to be doubly awesome. Don't be too jealous.

These two lovely ladies are my bestest friends ever. They both make me laugh and I talk to both quite a bit. They're both pretty ladies, and pretty fantastic!

This is Flit. She's the blonde one in this picture, just in case you couldn't tell, since I look like a llama. Flit and I met in 9th grade biology. The teacher kept sitting us next to each other and our relationship just kind of flourished because of it. She's my sister at heart and I love her to death even though my dad kind of hates her, which is a story for a different time. Ally plays the piano beautifully and has a ghetto ass car. Her dad works on cars and lowered it for some reason before he gave it to her so now she scrapes her bumper on absolutely everything. She has a gorgeous tail-less kitty named Minxy who supposedly hates everyone but crawls into my lap and starts purring every time I come over. There's actually a story behind her nickname, although it's not a very good one. One day we decided that we needed nicknames, because we had been BFF's for awhile and didn't have any. I don't know how we came up with Flit and Meiko, but I do know we meant it to be after Flit and Meeko in Pocahontas. I'm sure it was just us joking around one night and it just kind of stuck. I'm hoping to get an apartment with her in May so we can get on each other's nerves and I can screen every boy that she dates.

This darling girl is Auntie Lem. She's not my aunt, she's actually my cousin. We grew up together, and we have been talking a lot lately. I confess, I hadn't started thinking of her as a best friend until lately, but I realized that she's been a really good friend at the very least for a long time. I wouldn't give her up for the world, and i'm glad that we've started talking again. We love Moulin Rouge and quote it all the time. We also listen to the music every time we take a car ride together. She's a fantastic cello, piano, and organ player and I'm super jealous of her mad skills. 

She's getting her degree in Teaching of the Elementary variation if I remember correctly.

The story behind Auntie Lem's nickname is definitely better than Flit's; there's an actual thought process behind it. When we were wee little things, her nickname was Lemon. I don't know the story behind that one, but that's what we all called her. Everyone always talked about when she was going to be an aunt, she was going to be called Auntie Em. I suggested Auntie Lem when we found out that she was going to be an aunt, and two beautiful little girls later, it's stuck. At least for me. I dunno if her nieces call her something else. I'm gonna make sure to visit her at school a couple of times, and when summer rolls around, we're definitely hanging out more!

So those are my girlfriends. They're super smart and super adorable and life would be boring without them. And I love them so much, that I think you deserve to see them one more time!

This is my favorite picture of us <3

Giraffes are my favorite and she's riding one :(

Day 6: My Day

So today has had its ups and downs. But because today's post is supposed all about today, I guess I should start from the beginning.

I woke up and watched some of "The Tudors". When I say "watched" I mean I turned it on and halfway watched it while browsing Pinterest. That got boring after awhile and I realized that I hadn't watched the season finale of Downton Abbey yet, so I did (Matthew dies! </3).

I talked to my dad for a little bit, checked my email a few dozen times, and then started really looking for jobs for when I move back to Arizona (did you know 3 years of customer service and experience with a cash register does not really transfer anywhere well. You're just stuck in the same business over and over again.) After getting discouraged, I called my mom and talked to her for a bit. She cheered me up and suggested I look into being a waitress.

I had some Subway for lunch (jealous Auntie Lem?) and then sat myself down and started applying at Chili's and Starbucks. I started applying for Outback, but I misspelled my last name on accident and didn't realize I had until the end of the application when they wouldn't let me change it. So I scraped that project.

I was also updating my information on my care.com profile and came across a lady who needed her daughter watched for a couple of hours this week and a little bit in March. Applied for it and actually got it!

So not everything went bad today. Definitely not my best day, but at least I still have hope. And something to get my out of my normal routine, even if it is just a couple of days.

Over and out.

Blue

I've been on an emotional high the past week or so. I feel like my life has gotten back on track, and it felt great. I'm enrolled in college, I've got the next year of classes hypothetically figured out, and I get to see my family again. I have plans to get an apartment with Flit at some point in time this next summer, and have been on such a high that i'm planning out what things I want to get for it, and just imagining my life.

My dad works at one of the local electrical companies in Arizona, and told me about a job offer for a Customer Service Representative. It'd be a great opportunity for me, since I have around 3 years of customer service experience. The bonus was that it pays just around $16 an hour, which almost doubles the pay that I got at my last job. I figured I was a shoe-in since referrals are the number 1 way to get your foot in the door. That and I have good references and a lot of experience in that area.

Well, I was talking to my dad today, and apparently, he also referred one of Marie's daughter to the position too. She got an email from the company yesterday asking for a phone interview. I have no such thing in mine. I have since emailed the staffing part of the company asking about my application status, but I'm not sure I expect to hear anything back.

Now, my sister is 4 years younger than me. I have not had to compete with her for anything. She's still in High School right now, and would not be qualified for the job at all. So it was a great surprise that now I have to compete with Marie's youngest daughter to get a job. I know i'm being petty and jealous, but it's not something i'm used to at all. And I don't care for it. If you're going to refer someone to a position, refer only one; Or if you're going to do more than one referral, make sure they don't know each other. At all. On the very basic level, he's pitting us against each other.

I'm gonna stop being a child now though, and just hope that they just haven't sent an email out for me yet. Wish me luck!

Over and out.

Paper and Pen

So my day has been mentally busy. I've been trying to figure out a schedule for myself when I start school so I know if I have times to do all the important things I want back in my life. Work, school, and exercise were the 3 the main things that I was slotting time for.

It seemed like a simple task when I got started: wake up early, exercise, school, work, then homework. It's so much more than that though. I had to figure out the class hours I would take and when I would take them, what time I would have to get up in the morning and how long could my workout be? It would've been easier if I had an actual class schedule, but I haven't registered for any classes yet, so it's all hypothetical right now.

I ended up talking to a cousin that is going through the same thing right now, and I had an epiphany. I realized that while I was writing down when I could take the classes, my mind was assuming that I was going to work every afternoon. However, I only plan on working 4 days a week, and that made things a whole lot easier.

I also decided to look up my required classes at the community college that I plan on attending. Only 31 hours are required so I did some math, and found that I could do that in a year and I don't even have to be full time. I can take 9 credit hours online this summer and then do 10 hours first semester and 12 hours second semester.

Do you like all the hard work I did? There are 7 pages filled of all my hard mental work.

The only issue I can see with all of this, is that there were no core classes at all. No complaint over here, as I hate English, but it does concern me a bit. That's my only concern though.

I'm sure this post has been boring for you guys, but it's exciting for me. I'm happy to get my life back on track, and I'm happy to be busy again. I'm also really excited to move and see all my friends and family again.

Over and out.

Politically Charged

So first of all, I did not write the whole of this post myself. It was written as a status by a Josh Fielder. I do not personally know him, but I agree with much of what he says and think it deserves to be out there along side everything else. So here goes: Sorry it's a bit long!

*Update: I realized I copied and pasted it weirdly, and have since corrected it.*

So, here's my two cents (which will end up being closer to $1.50 I'm sure) and I'm sure I will regret posting this later, due to the "friends" I will lose while exercising my First Amendment, but here goes. Instead of posting a meme with a picture and a falsely attributed quote or a made up statistic, I've spent my time researching the gun violence/gun control debate. And I'd like to talk about some of the pervasive themes I've seen lately.
First off, Hitler did not say "In order to conquer a country, you must first disarm its citizens." In fact, Hitler made it his position to enable guns to be obtained more easily.http://www.snopes.com/politics/quotes/disarm.asp
Secondly, the presidents, and I mean ALL of them, and their families, receive death threats on a daily basis. President Obama did not enact the regulations that REQUIRE Secret Service protection for him and his family. If you believe your children are as much of a target as the president's children, then you have a self inflated idea of your position in this world.http://www.secretservice.gov/protection.shtml
Thirdly, there is NO law or bill being considered that would allow anyone to come marching into your home to take your legally obtained and legally owned firearms. There are possible laws that are being explored that would require more responsibility on the part of the gun owner or person purchasing a gun (i.e. pass a background check even if buying a gun from a gun show dealer). If you buy a car from a dealer it must be registered (a record of the transfer is documented). If you buy a car from a private citizen, it must be registered. If you buy a gun from a dealer, there is a record of that sale and it is registered. So how is it illogical to require the same for private sales of firearms?
Fourth, there are not more people being killed with baseball bats than guns. If you disagree with that because you saw a picture stating otherwise on the internet, then I would like to offer you the chance to buy some oceanfront property in Arizona and I'll throw in the Brooklyn Bridge for free. There is no magical solution for solving the problem of gun violence. THAT is what we need to solve. http://www.snopes.com/politics/guns/baseballbats.asp
We don't ban cars that are used in DUI related deaths, but we do enact regulations regarding blood alcohol limits, prosecute people who enable a drunk driver to operate a vehicle after serving them, promote a DUI campaign raising awareness and educating drivers on the dangers of driving while intoxicated. All of which has reduced DUI related fatalities by over 40% in a decade. http://www.centurycouncil.org/drunk-driving/drunk-driving-statistics
The media is not hiding other gun related stories because they want to sensationalize the problem, they are simply unable to cover every gun death story because there would be an average of 80 of them each day. So they concentrate (unfortunately) on the massacres which I think we can all agree, happen all too often.
I find the fact that more children are killed in the US by guns than in the entire Middle East region, very disturbing.
I find it disturbing that the NRA blames the rise in violent shootings on video games and then comes out with its own shooting video game (categorized for children as young as 4 years of age) less than a month after Newtown. 
I find it disturbing that instead of looking for a solution to a problem like Newtown, there are people wasting their time and energy by trying to turn it into a conspiracy theory. 
I find it disturbing that guns are the third largest killer of children ages 5-14 in the US.
I find it disturbing that a child in America is 12 times more likely to be killed with a gun than the rest of the "developed" world.I find it disturbing that there are more guns privately owned in America than the next SEVENTEEN countries combined.I find it disturbing that all of these statistics are not discussed but fake statistics about a baseball bat death rate are plastered everywhere.I find it disturbing that some people believe that the ONLY answer to this problem is more guns. Banning all firearms is NOT the answer, which is exactly why it's not being proposed. This country has enacted laws that didn't work before, so they've been revised, repealed, reformed, etc. It's ludicrous to think that as a society, we evolve, but the laws governing us cannot? The NRA states that the assault weapons ban didn't work the first time. Well, you know what they say, "If at first you don't succeed, f*%k it.".If armed guards are the only answer to ending school shootings, then explain the VT shooting. Virginia Tech had an entire police department complete with a SWAT unit. Explain Columbine, which had an armed officer on staff. When discussing an end to gun violence in schools, there should be NOTHING left off of the table. Ronald Reagan, a huge gun proponent and signor of the Brady Bill, wrote to Congress in 1994 asking them to propose legislation limiting or stopping altogether the manufacture of guns classified as assault weapon. And anyone saying "assault weapon" is a made up term should remember that every word in every language is, in fact, made up.And yes, criminals don't typically obey laws, but we still have them. Can you use that logic to say there should be none at all? No.Let me be clear, I am NOT anti gun. I have nothing against guns or responsible gun owners. I served proudly in the military, I worked in armed security, I've hunted, and enjoy target shooting since I was a kid. And I'm sure most gun enthusiasts are the same way. However, this issue should be discussed logically and rationally, and all I see are comments and pictures that are anything but rational and for the most part, are just viral, inflammatory, unresearched, vitriol. The president enacted 23 executive actions today, of which only 2 have anything to do with limiting the availability of a category of gun or a magazine capacity. The remaining 21 deal with aspects regarding background checks, school safety and mental health system requirements and deficiencies. Will it be a perfect solution? No. Will it help? We'll see. Is it better than doing nothing? Definitely. If we keep using the statement, "It's too soon to talk about it." after each tragedy, pretty soon, we'll never talk about it. OK, so maybe it ended up closer to $2.00 instead of 2 cents. So sue me.


Over and out.

Day 5: My Definition of Love

Love is a many splendored thing, Love lifts us up belong, all you need is Love! Sorry, Moulin Rouge is kind of a favorite. See it if you haven't.

Love to me, is many different things. I believe you can love many different things in many different ways. I also don't believe all love lasts. It may diminish or grow over time, but when you love and have loved someone, a little part of them will stay with you forever. You don't even have to remember them, it can be a quirk or a trait or even knowledge that you picked up from them.

I will admit that if you say those 3 words to everyone, it can lose it's meaning. I have a friend that tells everyone he loves them, but what happens if he wants to become more than friends with one of his friends? Then it'll be hard to get his feelings across.

I know one of the big issues of today's society is whether or not gay men and lesbians should marry because it's "so unholy" and the "bible doesn't allow it". I was not religious and have no formal religion, so screw the bible. As long as they love each other, then they should be married.

I'm not quite sure what else to say about love. There's not one formula for it so I'm not going to pretend to know it. Instead, I shall leave you with one more quote from Moulin Rouge.

"Look my dear, a little frog!"

Over and out.

Pants on Fire

Ok so I just changed my background and stuff, as I'm sure you noticed. As much as I loved that star decoration, it was a tad bit dark. I've had this recent infatuation with stripes and I realized as I was looking for free backgrounds (Idk how to write HTML script) that I love the color Navy. Like I absolutely love it. I know on my Day 1: Introductions post I wrote that red was my favorite color, and while a vibrant bold red is still fairly fantastic in my mind, Navy is definitely my favorite color. I should have realized this sooner and I apologize for lying. I will try not to do it in the future.

While i'm thinking of things on fire, can I just say I love The Hunger Games trilogy? It's my favorite series ever and i'm all for Peenis and KatPee. I'm also kind of irked with Alicia Keys for taking the whole "Girl on Fire" thing. Can't Suzanne like copyright that moniker or something? Katniss will always be the only Girl on Fire for me!

Over and out.

Day 4: What I ate today

I don't eat much lately. I sleep more often then not so the chances I have to eat are far and few between. It doesn't help that i'm not usually hungry anymore. This is not incredibly healthy btw, so don't follow my example.

I had nachos, a couple of oreo's, and a couple of bratwursts. That's it.

Again: do not follow my example.

Day 3: Parents

He was a boy, she was a girl, cannot make it anymore obvious. Avril Lavinge has no place in my family.

In all seriousness, my dad was 21, my mother, 18. He was in college, she in her senior year of high school. I don't know what kind of romance they had, and the time to ask that was up when they decided to get a divorce my junior year. All I know, is that mom got pregnant with me and they were married a month after I was born. I have often thought that if I hadn't come along, they wouldn't have gotten married. 

It's not an important matter anymore; the divorce was finalized years ago and my mother remarried soon after that. My dad is waiting a bit longer to commit to marriage again, but he's got a live in girlfriend and they extremely happy. He's starting to joke about marriage a bit and her daughters think of him as a father figure. So I guess we'll see where that leads to.

This is my momma and step-dad. We'll call him Frank. My mom has recently gotten into quilting, and Frank is extremely into comic books characters-especially Iron Man. They have 3 pugs and are one of the happiest couples I have ever seen. He has two kids, one of which is pretty much exactly like him. (i.e. way into comic books) Frank also collects DVD's. He has over 500 of them (or so he tells me) and since the technology has upgraded, he has decided to re-buy them all in Blu Ray. I don't personally get it, but to each their own. People often say that my mother and I look like sisters. We're really close and she always pushes me to do what makes me happy and not do what everyone wants me to do, or what my dad wants me to do. (There's not a lot of fondness there anymore. More drama than anything.)

So this is my dad and his girlfriend. We'll call her Marie. My dad got into Triathlons during the divorce proceedings as a way to work off steam, and continues to do them today. I'd show you a picture of him in his wet suit, but it'd probably scar you for life. He recently went back to school and is doing great so far. I don't know much about Marie; i've only met her twice since she moved in after I left for Iowa. I know she has 3 daughters, she's a friendly person and she doesn't mind my dad's sexual jokes (which happen more often than i'm comfortable with) My dad and I have not always been the closest; we had major issues after the divorce, and it's one of the reasons I moved to Iowa. We have since repaired our relationship, and while I am still unsure of him, I figure he deserves another chance, being my father and all. He's always pushed me to do my best and to try and succeed in everything I can. 

This is the only picture of all of us that I could find. After everything went down, both parents deleted every single picture off of Facebook. Except this one? My sister, Pooka, is on the left, and the two random old people are not my grandparents (thank god! That lady is crazy..), they're Dad's work friends. And apparently I didn't get the memo to wear black. And I was blonde back then.

My Parents, their current significant others, with a hint of my sibling and step siblings.