Each day I spend with you just gets better and better. While the day we started dating is still number one on my list, the past 2 nights make it in my top 10. Especially last night. We talk, we kiss, we talk, we kiss. An ever-evolving evening that ended in perfection. This cycle makes me feel giddy even thinking about it. Falling asleep with you was heaven. And waking up with you still there made me happy too. I really love you, even though it's only been 2 days. It doesn't scare me that you're already talking about marriage and kids. It does scare me that your parents were the ones that suggested we move in together.
On the opposite side of the spectrum, is Justin. He's been harassing me this last week and then out of nowhere yesterday he decided to tell me he still loves me and that he was just being an asshole to push me away. God that made me so mad. He thinks i'm the one playing games and then he goes and does this? I won't be any part of it. This last week has turned off any sort of romantic feelings I have for him. You can't call me a slut, publicly slander me, and destroy/ steal my stuff and then expect me to be okay with it all when you say you still love me. You have no excuse for any of it. You never will.
Despite it all, I hope you figure things out. You're misguided and you trust the wrong people. Your evolving circle of friends creates a pressure to satisfy everyone so much so that you lash out at the people who truly care for you. I hope you find real friends soon. These ones won't be around much longer and you'll be left out in the cold again, wishing you hadn't done what you're doing now. I'm sure you'll be flitting in and out of my life for the next couple of years, checking in, figuring out where you went wrong. I will always remember you and you'll be a cautionary tale to tell my kids in the coming decades. But you'll never be anything more than an acquaintance. I can't have you flipping my life upside down again. I can get used to the balance and support Luke provides. He's an amazing guy and I don't know why he wants to be with me, especially since he knows all of my faults.
I can't wait for tonight. Using your texts as an indicator, i'm thinking you left another surprise for me at work. While that's exciting, I'm more looking forward to when I get off of work. I'm sure you'll be coming over again tonight and i'll fall more in love with you and share more about myself because of it. I love you Luke :) and I love you too Flit M'dear :) Say hi to Lottie Dottie and Liam Gazelle for me ;)
Oh btw Flit: if thats what they come out to be, I will be calling them that. The nickname sticks. <3 Meiko
No comments:
Post a Comment